Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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