Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
