It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
