he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
