So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Randomize
