Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
