I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
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Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
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Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
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