We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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