He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
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