If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
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