Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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