so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
