I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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