What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Randomize
