i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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