God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize