I want to walk on stilts...naked
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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