Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
