I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
