no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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