Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
