wrigley field is MILF paradise
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
