sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
