apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
