I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
