i may or may not be watching the land before time
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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