There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
