PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
