I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
