using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
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