Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
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