I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
