The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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