WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Randomize
