I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
