This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Randomize