dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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