What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
