he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
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I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
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High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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