im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Randomize
