so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
