dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
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