Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
