"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
