dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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