tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
