I just saw a hot homeless man
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
