from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
