I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
