just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
