Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
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