I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
I'm having to shit out rocks
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