I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
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