Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Randomize
