I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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