so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
it's like heaven, but drunker
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
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