He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
