I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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