I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
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