Pappa wants mamma naked
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
