Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
