I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
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