i permit you to call me
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Randomize
