At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
