We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
