I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize