dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
