I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
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