i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
