she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
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If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
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He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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